Pausch, author of the now famous “Last Lecture” became widely known after delivering a speech in 2007 to a crowd of 400 at Carnegie Mellon University, of which he was a professor of Computer Science, Human Computer Interaction and Design. During this lecture, Pausch touched upon the central theme of “Really Achieving Your Childhood Dreams,” including excerpts of his battle with pancreatic cancer.
This lecture was not so much about cancer, but served as a manual on how to use mortality as a lesson for those who will inevitably follow. Pausch provided a road map for people – especially the youth who inherently believe they will live forever—to achieve their dreams.
Pausch said that while life with cancer was difficult, the role his wife, Jai, played as his caregiver was far more complex. Not only was she responsible for his well-being during the course of his illness, she had to maintain their family, handle the emotions involved with each member, and deal with her own emotional health.
A caregiver—for cancer, COPD or other diseases—faces the same trials as any other caregiver. Their role, while the disease may well be varied and different, becomes the daunting task of holding everything together. Their care provides their loved one the opportunity to find meaning for their life and comfort as they move on.
In many cases, the caregiver is the “glue” that holds the family together. The question is, “Who cares for the caregiver?” Stress, anxiety, exhaustion, and feelings of helplessness can easily affect a caregiver if they do not take certain precautions. To be effective in their role, a caregiver must learn the early signs and forms of caregiver stress:
Caregiver stress is real and serious. Some of the signs to look out for include depression, anger, lack of energy, frequent illnesses, lack of appetite, disrupted sleep, fatigue, digestive disorders, etc. Depression can cause most of these symptoms and if le? untreated, it can render the caregiver incapable of fulfilling his or her responsibilities.
How to Prevent Caregiver Stress
Admitting Is the First Step
You may reach the point, despite your best efforts, where you are no longer able to perform the role of caregiver. Some caregivers consider this a failure or form of abandonment. However, one shoiuld view it as an expression of love that simply says, “My loved one deserves better care than I am able to provide.”
While the decision may be difficult, talk to your doctor or counselor about alternative care options. Discuss your decision with family members, expressing how your loved one requires a greater degree of care than your family can offer. Find an affordable care situation that will offer the patient the greatest comfort and emotional stability. Your options might be home nursing, assisted living, or a nursing home. Your choice will inevitably be governed by your health insurance or personal savings.
Make sure your loved one knows the reason you can no longer provide care (they will probably know already) and remain positive about the new situation. Make every attempt to remain a part of their life, and accept inevitable consequences of the adjustment. Above all, stay positive and know that you made the right decision for your loved one and yourself.
Final Thoughts
The most important thing to remember is that you are not alone, and there are many individuals carrying the same burden. Those same individuals pro-actively work on solutions to the challenges of caregiving, and so can you.
For further support, you can reach us at (866) 316-COPD (2673) Monday through Friday, 9AM-9PM EST or at info@copdfoundation.org.
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